Happy new year? Weight Watchers, FitBit, Snoring, and a need to prove I can

2014. Another year in a diminishing life. Yet, I am trying to get a vision. 

As a goal oriented person, I need to find a reward at the end of the rainbow. A longer life?  Better sex? Any sex?  I don't even want me right now. 

I work every day to meet deadlines and to satisfy customers and clients.  Why can't I do that for myself? 

I don't like being fat.  I hate being winded just walking to my car. My fat clothes don't fit well now. 

I do love food however. It's actually more of a lust. Kinky really. I binge in secret. I love junk. 

So, how do I change?  

Set a goal?  Set a timeline?  Use technology?  

1. 100 pounds lost by end of the year. (There, I said it. 290 striving for 190.)

2. Before giving time to my job, I will give time to my health/body. 1 hour of exercise or effort each day. 

3. Weight Watchers tracker and FitBit are my first two attempts. 

4. I will strive to log this journey on Blogger. 

Why do I feel so negative already?  It will take a greater power. It will take accountability. It will take focus.   

Maybe this is the first post I make public just to open myself up to scrutiny...

...

Here goes. 

Faith walk?

Time has passed. The narrators voice from SpongeBob can be heard uttering the number of days that have passed since my last entry. 

I've eliminated diet drinks by drinking water, tea with a half and half or so concoction, or small soft drinks. Fortunately, the cokes are so sweet, I may drink about 1/4 of one. 

The problem is I haven't adapted anything else. No weight loss and other problems continue...night sweats, leg cramps, tight waist bands. I'm tired of being fat, yet I order whatever sounds good. Frustrating. 

This morning, as I considered my pillow drenched with my own sweat while I was sleeping in a room away from my wife, I wondered why I, a person who is very task oriented, can't seem to get in shape. What is holding me back?  Then I considered the phrase, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  Maybe it's a test of my faith or an illustration of my lack of faith. 

Maybe I need His help. Maybe I need to realize His importance. 

Epiphany?  Defined as a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or common place occurrence or experience.

Could be. 

Philippians 4:13. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me. (HCSB)

Have I invited Him daily to be a part of this?

Day 3...good, bad, ugly

Still no diet drinks. Still no super size. 

Missed breakfast, not good. Ate a very late lunch at Chuy's. Too many chips and too much food, but it was good. 

That was the good and bad. 

The ugly was a binge this evening of chips, tortilla and potato. Couldn't get enough.  Now, I'm regretting it. I regret years of overheating and not being disciplined. Now, I'm an an undisciplined food addict. 

Fist step, admit you have a problem. Done. 

PHAT was probably the wrong goal to set...

Rather than using PHAT in the title, I should have set a better goal. I mean what 46/47 year old MAN wants to be "pretty, hot and tempting". I will take the last two, but pretty!  Not likely. 

If I target my goal to be Sexy, Hot and Tempting then the title would be "From Fat to SHAT" and that's not good. 

The other problem is that I'm really not sure how to change the title. Will doing so start another blog?  I belabored starting this one. Horrors to think all my time spent on one prior entry being lost for eternity. 

Instead, I leave PHAT out there and inevitable have visitors looking for some other poor guy's diary as he struggles with weight, midlife and that he really isn't sure how to talk to his teenage kids anymore. 

Oh, hasn't opened up that one yet, so consider it a hook. I'm sure it will bubble to the surface again if this blog survives. 

Speaking of bubbling to the surface, I had a funny thought in the shower this morning that I wanted to be sure to include. 

A journey begins...

I am fat. Not that I'm pudgy, or husky anymore. I've reached a point when my "fat pants" aren't comfortable. I snore. I'm tired all the time and I don't even want to go into the fact I sweat when no one else does. 

 I've tried diets. Sorta. I've attempted exercise. Kinda. 

What I can't seem to grasp is moderation. Yesterday I heard diet sodas can drive your triglycerides up. I've been drinking diet sodas since college and I'm way overweight which makes me wonder how big I'd be if I drank normal soft drinks. 

 I also wondered today what Floyd the barber on Andy Griffith did before he became a barber. Given the timing of the show, Floyd's age, etc. I wonder if he served in WW II. Given his diction, he might have been exposed to mustard gas or something. I digress. 

Today, I've opted to sit down and share with you, the one or two who might stumble upon this blog, my plans and visions on how I am going to try to change my condition and self-assigned nickname of FatDaddyPawPaw, of FDPP, for short, and get back to a leaner version of me. Weight has been a life long struggle and trust me, I don't fight too hard.

 I love food. All kinds. However, my days on this planet are numbered (given we can be gone in an instant, I am glad we don't have that figure in front of us) and I recently realized unless I live to be in my mid 90s, I sorta missed my midlife crisis which really sucks. 

 On a side note, I found one statistic that says I have a 12.5% chance of living to be 100. Which means, I have a couple more years until my midlife...so, I've got that going for me. 

 Anyway, here's what I'm thinking. I'm going to try to drink more water and little or no diet drinks. When I NEED a soft drink, I'm going to opt for Coke or something regular. With that said, the words LARGE, EXTRA LARGE, SUPER SIZE, JUMBO, and BUFFET are all off limits. Lets see where this goes. Today, I am 280+/-, 44+/- inch waist and I'm 2 months from my 47th birthday.